Acne: My Story with it!

Acne, it’s something almost everybody gets whether you are a puberty stricken teen or get the occasional adult acne (unless you are one of those perfectly spotless people who have never or will never get any kind of spot.. I’m not bitter at all!)

I got acne when I was 11 years old and I had no clue how to treat it. I was still a child and had very little knowledge about makeup and the whole beauty routine. Young teen girls nowadays have it so much easier! I struggled with makeup for a long time, it wasn’t until 3rd year when I figured out more about it! I didn’t know what shade to use or how to apply it or what was good and bad for my skin! I hated having acne. I know everyone hates having acne but I hated myself for having acne. Because I was clueless and my mum never had acne, I didn’t know what to do. I was using all the creams and lotions the shops had to offer but nothing worked. Some even made it worse. I got so insecure about it when I started secondary school because all the other girls seemed flawless. Not a spot or scar in site. I use to get so upset with my face that sometimes I would scratch it hoping that if it bled, it would go away quicker. But it only made me scar. And badly!
I would NEVER leave the house without makeup. I think since I was 11 up until this year, I have left the house about 10 times without makeup, when I was going to hospital for operations or going for acupuncture. Other than that, I wore makeup everyday. Even when I never left the house sometimes. I just hated looking in the mirror and hating my face.Β Now that I’m more knowledgeable with acne, I’ve learned I just didn’t get spots! I suffer from whiteheads, pustules, cysts and rosacea. All at the same time. Google them, but be warned, so of the images aren’t nice!
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This is what it was like with no makeup in the morning at it’s worse. My face was even swollen because of the acne. As much as I hate looking at this, I wanted to keep it to show what I looked like.

I thought that I would grow out of it. So when I turned 21, I was like ‘Oh it will start to get better now!’. WRONG! It got worse, so much worse. In March this year, it was the worse it has ever been. I was in so much pain with it, I couldn’t sleep or make any facial expressions. My face would bleed at night time. I had cysts on my face. It was horrible. One night, I went to the stables with Sarah, Susan and Laura and I felt so crap all night and of course drinking got the little voice in my head saying all these horrible things and I ran home crying and locked myself in my room. I had one of the worst panic/anxiety attacks I have ever had that night. I do know why my acne got so bad. In January, I went to see a dermatologist. She put me on two tablets, one to produce acne to get it all out of my system and then Roaccutane. I was on the the first tablet a month before I could take the Roaccutane and that is why my skin got so bad. Timing couldn’t have been worse as I had a Ball in that time and my confidence was so low, I questioned not going to the Ball at all (I had even bought a Moschino dress for it!!!) I just hated the way I looked, no amount of makeup could cover up my acne. Of course photos were taken and I absolutely hated how I looked. The photo below is the one that made me cry when I saw it.

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I HATE THIS PHOTO OF MYSELF SO MUCH! It took a lot to actually add this to my blog! Although, Sarah always makes me laugh in this!!

Roaccutane has been the best thing ever for my skin. Within two days of being on it, my acne cleared up! It is very strong. I am on 6omg a day. Oh and I can’t drink alcohol! I haven’t drank in nearly 16 weeks and I am fine with that because my skin is FINALLY almost cleared!! I have to watch my weight also as it can affect my heart. The main two things that is hard to cope with at times is that my lips are severely dry 99.9% of the time and bleed also. My skin is very dry too. But it’s fine, it is worth the little bit of suffering! Below you can see the whole transformation from March until July. I think I have one more month on the tablet and I am very happy with the results so far. I feel more confident not wearing make up and have left the house comfortably with out makeup. I know I will have scars but I can receive laser treatment after to clear that up.
This was two days on the tablet (I know I am wearing makeup!) You can see the cysts have calmed down!

This was two days on the tablet (I know I am wearing makeup!) You can see the cysts have calmed down!

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Again, I know I am wearing makeup but you can clearly see my skin has cleared up so much after being on Roaccutane for three weeks

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This was 2 months on Roaccutane. A little red but that is one of the side effects also.

I took this photo on the 14th of July, a little over 5 months on Roaccutane. Still a little red and I have scars but a little lazer treatment will clear that.

I took this photo on the 14th of July, a little over 5 months on Roaccutane. Still a little red and I have scars but a little laser treatment will clear that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beauty routine is a very important part of my skin clearing up also. It’s only in the last two years that I have taken this very seriously. Like I mentioned earlier, I have tried every product you can think of from Ireland, England and America! Β But I have finally found a few products that are my favourites and the are pictured below!!

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I wear facial sunscreen 365 days a year! But I have to be extra careful with the Roaccutane tablet in the sun!

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Moisturizing is a huge part in a beauty routine. I LOVE this Vitamin E Moisture Cream

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Days when I don’t wear makeup, I use this Vitamin C moisturizer. It helps give your face a sun kissed glow and helps bring back a tired face to life !

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I use this to remove my makeup or excess makeup that my other remover might miss! It helps calm down the redness also!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love this Estee Lauder makeup remover! It removes makeup instantly!

I love this Estee Lauder makeup remover! It removes makeup instantly!

I only started using this in June as you can only get it in England. It helps reduce redness and scars! It works, trust me!!

I only started using this in June as you can only get it in England. It helps reduce redness and scars! It works, trust me!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All my beauty products are high end and expensive as the cheaper products just make my skin worse. If you want to know prices, leave a comment!

Acne did heavily affect my confidence throughout my teenage years, like I mentioned earlier, I hated the way I looked. Now I am not saying I am now Beyonce beautiful (I’ll never think that!) but I feel so much more confident in who I am in my own skin. I don’t have to worry if people are staring at my skin rather than paying attention to what I’m talking about. I don’t have to worry about hearing people talk about how bad my skin is on the bus or train or in shops or even when they pass me in the street. You can see it when I smile, there is a bit of life behind my eyes again.

It’s taken me a lot of courage to post this blog. Please understand that. I have shared photos I hate of my skin. I have opened myself up to you and the internet to my biggest insecurity.

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